All right, I have your attention. But I’m perfectly serious. You see, I like to get a new notebook every two years or so, which is sufficient time for the older model to seem laggard compared to the latest and greatest hardware.

So it would seem that 2008 is the right year for me to begin to do some window shopping, and not for a Windows notebook I might add. Aside from cost considerations, I have to consider what works best for my particular situation, including the features I need and the ones I can sacrifice.

Long ago, a Mac notebook had a screen of less than 10 inches, and that was a huge impediment to my workflow, particularly since my desktop Macs usually have the largest displays I can afford or acquire for extended evaluation. It’s so easy to become accustomed to a huge expanse of desktop space, and it can get quite claustrophobic when the screen real estate is reduced.

So with a 17-inch PowerBook G4 — and later the comparably-sized MacBook Pro — I feel that I have a screen size that represents a suitable compromise. Apple doesn’t have notebooks with larger screens. The Windows variants that do are big, clumsy, and just not suited to carrying around for long distances. To be sure, the larger MacBook Pro’s 6.8 pounds weight, plus lots of accessories, provides me with a rather heavy case to lug around. Since I’m not a backpack person, I just let it hang from my shoulder, which is alright for short trips, but not so comfortable when traveling from the airport check-in line, through security and then to the gate, which is always at the other end of the terminal.

Maybe they do that to make us accustomed to the real pain, which comes when you’re crowded into the plane’s cabin as it taxis around endlessly waiting for permission from the control tower to take off.

But, when I finally reached my destination, I’m pleased that I have most everything I need for comfortable portable computing.

Then there’s the MacBook Air, and I’m skeptical.

Granted the Air is a sharp looking computer, although being able to store it in a manila envelope may make it super easy to steal. While I haven’t worked on one, I have used the regular MacBook, which it closely resembles as far as the display and keyboard layout are concerned.

With the MacBook, and the predecessor, the iBook, I felt unnaturally constrained. I seemed to spend inordinate amounts of time scrolling around to view the content I wanted. Imagine how I feel with the iPhone, although I have grown accustomed to its layout, and its limitations.

But even if I could accept a 13.3-inch screen as adequate for my purposes, what about the 80GB hard drive? Well, my MacBook Pro has a 160GB drive, and there’s only about 40GB empty. It’s not that I am a pack rat. However, over time, things begin to accumulate, and it would represent a hard decision to copy that stuff to an external storage device, or dispense with it entirely. I suppose I could do it in a pinch, but why?

Being confined to a wireless connection might be acceptable in many situations, but did Apple forget that some hotels still offer strictly wired Internet in their rooms? So I’d have to make sure that I get their external USB-based Ethernet adapter.

But wait? What about an optical drive? Sure, I can network with one at home or at an office, where there’s another Mac or PC around, using Apple’s new Remote Disc feature? But where do I find the second computer in the hotel room, or on the beach? Do I look for strangers who might allow me to share their DVD drives? Do I even require one often enough to simply buy the external peripheral that Apple offers?

Of course, if I want to have the optical drive and Ethernet connection serve me simultaneously, I need the portable USB hub. Does it have to be powered? Well, there goes portability.

Now I am not concerned about the MacBook Air’s graphic limitations. I’m not a gamer, and my video requirements on the road are basic enough that the Intel graphics chip ought to be sufficient.

Now when it comes to memory, I have to tell you that running Parallels Desktop with Windows Vista and my full assortment of regular applications taxes the 2GB on my MacBook Pro. My next notebook will be equipped with 4GB.

Of course, with the MacBook Air, 2GB is the minimum and the maximum, as it’s hardwired to the logic board. Forget that option.

On the other hand, I realize that there are many people in our audience who would not suffer from its feature omissions. For them, the MacBook Air’s light weight and good looks may be just the ticket.

But not for me.

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You recall that Mac versus PC commercial, where it’s announced just how many Windows viruses were in the wild at the time, followed by the pronouncement, “but not on the Mac.”

Of course, you could subject that statement to several interpretations, such as the fact that Apple wasn’t claiming there weren’t any viruses on the Mac, just not so high a figure. Yes, I realize the statement is a little fuzzy in its meaning, and you could have a different — and equally valid — interpretation.

Another claim is that the Mac is akin to a toaster oven or perhaps a refrigerator, meaning it’s an appliance. Of course toaster ovens burn up and refrigerators go bad over time. So this is not the promise of perfection, and the claim that a Mac “just works” may also be overwrought.

Now I don’t know how many of you came to the Mac after working on Windows, or whether you must delve in multiple platforms as part of your work routine. Regardless, I wonder whether Apple’s constant claim that Macs are perfect and Windows is the pits might just be stretching the truth a little too far.

Of course, people are jaded today. You don’t really believe that Cheer is substantially better than Tide when you’re picking a laundry detergent, and the differences between Coca Cola and Pepsi are largely a matter of personal preference. Moreover, does the famous Maytag repairman actually sit in the office doing nothing because the company’s washers and driers never go bad?

So the Windows switcher has to know that some amount of Apple’s hype about the Mac is exaggerated and it cannot possibly be as good as claimed. They have to realize that there will be problems with all personal computers, and, in fact, I have to admit there was even a time or two that I had to restart the iPhone I’m reviewing after a freeze.

To take a brief trip back through time: Not 15 minutes after I installed my first Mac in my home, back in the 1980s, the damn thing froze solid, and pushing the Restart button in the Finder’s famous “bomb” window had no effect whatever. I was annoyed, but not disenchanted. I cherish perfection, but I haven’t driven a car, cheap or expensive, that’s rattle-free on all types of roads either. There will always be the occasional noise that extends beyond that of the suspension and the rolling tires.

Indeed, I’m sure some car dealers want to look the other way when I arrive for another “rattle check,” and even the friendliest person occupying a Genius Bar at an Apple Store is going to look askance if I walk up and announce I had a couple of system crashes in the last week or two.

In short, Apple can’t promise perfection, for it would have stopped at Mac OS 10.0, or even System 1.0, for that matter. No reasonable person can be expected to believe that the Mac is free of software conflicts or, as a matter of fact, a potential malware infection.

How can you possibly take Apple’s claims as 100% gospel? Marketing is just that, and there will always be terms and conditions that separate the fanciful claim from the sad reality.

In saying that, however, Apple tends to be scrutinized far more carefully than any other PC maker. You expect things to go wrong on your Dell or HP, but how is the newly-minted Mac user going to react when the promised blissful life of computing perfection isn’t achieved?

Take the claim of being virtually virus-free. Well, I don’t feel inclined to give much serious attention to the naysayers who say that Mac viruses are on the way now that the platform is taking off in a big way, and you’ll have to fend them off any minute now. In the real world, Apple releases regular security updates to address known threats, but they are rarely exploited.

But during the days of the Classic Mac OS, a few irritating virus threats did come along, and I’m sure some of you long-time Mac users were affected, as I was. I do feel we are living on borrowed time, and that some full-blown outbreak will arrive some day, and you’ll have to download a copy of the latest and greatest virus protection software to protect yourself.

If that happens, though, will the Windows switchers imply decide that things are no better on the Mac side of the fence, and that they might as well return to Windows? What about a few episodes of quitting applications, or, horror or horrors, the dastardly kernel panic? That one is a real shocker for someone who hasn’t seen it before.

Maybe I’m exaggerating here, but I do think Apple has to be careful about creating an aura of perfection where none can possibly exist. Sure, I don’t think their spin level is any worse than any other company, and maybe better in some respects. But people have been programmed to expect more from Apple, and they have to be real careful not to over-promise. They are not, lest we forget, Microsoft, even though some people would prefer to have us think otherwise.

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